Thursday, August 13, 2015

love story coincidences...

I have felt the love of God most fully when I'm at breaking points in my life.  I often don't even feel like trying to explain how much these times mean to me... because I get this notion that I won't be able to explain it or I'll say it wrong and diminish what it was to me.  I know it makes a lot of sense that to be picked up emotionally, you have to be low sometimes.  That seems logical to me -I surely don't want to make it sound like I think that I'm the only one to ever have felt such an emotional high.   I've had little moments that are like a love affair between me and my savior that I go back to over and over again for the deepest parts of my emotional being to be satisfied.  That's the only way I can explain it and I thought I would share just two little instances of this as they keep coming back to my mind in a nagging sort of way...

So you all know (if you read this maundering blog) that I was not feeling well before running this race (muncie-pictured). I felt like I entered a tunnel once I left to pick up my race packet and there was no way I was going to just give up on what I set out to do- no exits-in the tunnel to the finish or bust.  After the race though...I sort of felt bad about not being more cautious, if for no other reason than I have little kiddos depending on me being able to function day to day.  A day or two later I looked up my race time and saw that I finished in 7 hours...59 minutes and 5 seconds.  My original goal had been 8 hours, so for me, it was a calming thought that in all the chaos of the day... I finished with a whole 55 seconds to spare. :D  For some reason I didn't feel so crazy in the head for living my story and for pushing to my limits that day.  It was a simple little confirmation.  Also later, after the complications over our anniversary in French Lick and the D&C, the first thing Luke said to me when I came out of surgery was that I carried more than just the ultrasound of the baby over that finish line.  I hadn't thought of it that way...but I did take that little person's DNA the whole 70.3 miles with me.  Which is a complicated emotional thought as I was trying to let go of things in the process of racing that day.  Even with all of these nice little warm fuzzy feelings... none of them were miraculous...not as miraculous as me not passing out during the run portion at least I guess is what I'm trying to say.  but then on the way home from French Lick I was super tired and laid my head down thinking about how I was okay and that the whole miscarriage was actually really over now.  And then I said a sort of half asleep prayer that I didn't care what God wanted my story to long as He knew where I was...the exact concept in my fading conscious was "God knows where I could I fear or question anything?" 
I woke up to a commotion in front.  Luke and Caleb were being pretty loud about something.  They kept saying they just couldn't believe it.  Then Caleb got on the phone and called someone and was like "you are not going to believe it...are you on (whatever road we were on ...74?) headed toward Indy right now?  (Pause)...  yeah Luke and I were just talking and Luke just said, 'you know who I haven't seen in a long time _________.' and then a few minutes/seconds later we saw a car that looked just like yours.  Then when you passed, we saw it was YOU!"  How are you doing buddy?" and then Caleb proceeded to admonish and encourage this friend of his because he's really good at that kind of thing. So.... I'm still waking up and I asked Luke... "so did you like... see him in the rear view mirror subconsciously or something." And Luke was like "No" I literally out of the blue said I hadn't seen him in a long time and then he drove by our vehicle like a few minutes later."  and a very warm feeling settled over my heart and I knew...whether it was a coincidence or not that I'm known.  God knows where we are at.  Everything doesn't always look all bright and sunny 100% of the time, but I choose to trust.  I'll keep running this thing called life like I'm in it to win it...even if I end up taking 8 hours and not being on the podium...well actually not 8-let me give my self some 55 second credit here...7 hours 59 minutes and 5 seconds. ;)
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Monday, August 10, 2015

French Lick IN in pictures...

I couldn't get over the tile floors the whole stay... :D

 Updated murals from most recent renovation...
 These flowers are real... so nice :)
 The French Lick hotel 
 Dinner at a German restaurant per my begging we stop at three different places and eat a little at each...
 rebel at heart...I sat before being seated in a mini chair...
 I really like the atmosphere of this place a lot
 the group seated above us were pretty loud but it was a funny sort of happy loud- not too annoying

 S+P earings anyone?
 Salad plate...
 Sausage plate
 very good creamy broccoli soup
  We were full after the schnitzel... decided to forgo stopping at other restaurants that night as originally planned...

 happy anniversary #13
 Diverted spring water into a ditch...smelled like sulfur
 I had to get my toes in it just because...the rocks felt slimy, water was very cold
 West Baden...
 cap over one of the original springs...
 West Baden (named after a german spring) less than a mile from French Lick hotel

 Largest free standing dome... in the world based on reading material at the hotel.
 lights around the pool
 Day Two-horse back riding

 West Baden in the morning
 After being discharged from Paoli hospital-I had a traditional mineral bath soak (I checked with the doc first :).  It's the original business plan behind French Lick so it was really interesting.  A doctor opened spas around the springs because the the alleged healing benefits back in the day.
 We grabbed lunch here before heading out
 The restaurant at West Baden we were going to eat at for our anniversary, but we went the german place across the street instead...I think when we come back to use the free round of gold and redo this weekend that we'll have to eat here.  It was a beautiful dinning room.
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